Do your friends bring out the best in you?
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
― Jim Rohn
Do you have friends that inspire you? Do you have friends that are supportive of your ambitions? Do you have friends who aspire to be successful in life?
If you do, consider yourself extremely lucky. They are hard to find and to keep up with. They subconsciously bring you to a higher level. They inspire you and motivate you to do greater things for yourself.
I consider myself very lucky to be surrounded by ambitious and like-minded individuals. I’ve also had to cut ties with people who were negatively influencing me.
I don’t want to spend time with people who try to bring me or others down. I don’t want to be around people who cannot respect other peoples’ lifestyles and beliefs. I don’t want to be around people who focus on flaws, and continuously point them out to show my weakness.
I wanted to surround myself with like-minded people who encouraged others. I wanted to surround myself with people who looked toward the future. I wanted to surround myself with people who were responsible and respectful.
The problem is, even if I want to surround myself with these people, it’s really tough to find and click with these people. They’re not sitting around in an open market for you to come, mingle, and choose them. They’re not waiting to find each other either. They’re usually developing themselves and working toward their goals.
That’s why to find them, you have to work on developing yourself. You have to become a person that will resemble your friends’ traits. If you want to find a open-minded, easy-going, and friendly friend, you have to mirror those traits.
You want to be respected by your friends? Then you have to first learn how to give respect.
You want to find ambitious friends? Then you have to be willing to step out of your comfort zone and look toward the future.
You can’t expect to surround yourself with positive, optimistic friends if you’re going to be negative and cynical. There are exceptions, but they usually don’t mesh well.
In my first year of college, I stayed in my comfort zone and was content. I only hung out with people who I knew in high school, and did the same things that I would do in high school.
Looking back, I had surrounded myself with friends who had the same mindset. They wanted to live comfortably, and not look to the future. They had no ambitions, no goals. They just liked to live day to day, smoking bud or going to parties. They were okay with mediocre grades and didn’t care about getting jobs.
Being around them made me feel content. Being around them made me feel like I was on the right track, even when I wasn’t accomplishing anything. Being around them made me stagnant… scared to move out of my comfort zone.
Then I decided to join a business fraternity. I decided to surround myself with ambitious college students who looked toward the future. I decided to take a step out of my comfort zone, and decided to develop myself.
I never looked back since that day. I went through a lot since I decided to join, but I know it was the right decision for me. I got to know a lot of successful and inspirational people who were only a few years older than me. I got to know of opportunities that were within my reach.
I got to know like-minded, motivated, and smart people. By surrounding myself with these people, I took on their traits. I worked to develop myself professionally and personally. I went through many obstacles and struggles to get to where I am today, but this was only possible through the friends I met and the friends I left behind.
Somewhere down the line, you have to find out if your friends are bringing you up or holding you back. You have to decide if your friends are bringing out the best or the worst in you.
Be relentless with your decisions. It’s going to suck, but it’s going to only benefit you.
I am happy with where I am with friends today. I have carefully trimmed and selected the people that bring out the best in me, and I am quick to remove negative influences in my life.
I recently let my friends know about writing on Medium. I was initially going to keep it a secret, but I felt like there was never going to be a “perfect” time where I can announce it to them. I was scared of judgment because I’m pretty insecure about my writing.
My punctuation and grammar are horrible. I write anything that comes to mind and may bother some people. My writing might seem amateur and novice to them.
At first I felt uncomfortable that people were reading it. Why do we feel more comfortable with strangers reading our innermost thoughts than if our closest friends were to read it? Wouldn’t your friends be more supportive and understanding? Again, we are irrational beings.
I let them read it on a whim. They were really enthusiastic and supportive of my writing. They gave very positive remarks and encouraged me to write more. They chose not to focus on my glaring weaknesses, but my strengths.
I’m extremely thankful for the friends I have. Sometimes I don’t know what I did to deserve such kind and great friends. I enjoy their company and hopefully they enjoy mine. We continuously push each other to become the best versions of ourselves.
Choose your friends wisely. Make sure you know who is on your side and guard them closely. Let them know that you’re grateful that they choose to be with you.
I have a hard time showing my friends my emotions, but I want them to know that I consider myself so lucky to have them in my life. I want them to know that I appreciate their kind and encouraging words, and I will do the same for them.
Thank you guys, and I hope you guys know that I cherish you all. You know who you are.
“I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun.”
-Charles R. Swindoll
